Old Lady In Court 1781
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Defense Attorney:

Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady:

I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney:

Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady:

There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney:

Did you know him?

Little Old Lady:

No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney:

What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady:

He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney:

Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady:

No, I didnt stop him.

Defense Attorney:

Why not?

Little Old Lady:

It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney:

What happened next?

Little Old Lady:

He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney:

Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady:

No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney

Why not?

Little Old Lady:

His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I havent felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney:

What happened next?

Little Old Lady:

Well, by then, I was feeling so “spicy” that I just laid down and told him “Take me, young man. Take me now!”

Defense Attorney:

Did he take you?

Little Old Lady:

Hell, no! He just yelled, “April Fool!” And thats when I shot him, the little bastard


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